bloggin time~~~~XD long wordy post again...pspsps

suppose to stay overnite at my grandmother's house today....cos my aunt's bringing mi out tml in the early morning....but last min. due to sometinks can't go...so well....stay at home and rush my proj. ba~~~well sometink happen which made both my parents and mi got very angry.....due to the "disciplinary act" made to my brother by his school's DM.....damn fuck up~~

he detained my brother after his sch time.....then ask him go cut hair...cos his fringe's too long.....kuku DM tink his eyes are blind lor.....before school starts my brother jus went for a hair cut...and he still say too long...blind ar....not cos of this that made us angry is cos he ask my brother and his classmate(who also kana caught) go take money and go cut hair...then come back school let him see.....MD....when the boys say no money...the DM still say...no money go borrow....if not near the school gt ATM machine go take money la....FK sia.....make my brother's friend go home take money and lend my bro. money to go cut hair.....kuku DM...somemore when they go back school....the DM still say my bro.'s fringe still too long....WTH....when he come home he's like almost botak can.....got hair like no hair....got fringe like no fringe.....BLIND SIA!!!! then some more my bro. got tuition....by the time he reach home was round 5+ liao....he still got a tuition at DHOBY GHAUT!!!!! he din even have time go eat his dinner...he took a quick bath and rush out liao....WTH sia.....

then my father accompany my bro. go school today..cos he want to see the DM....the class form teacher called my father....saying what today plus this whole week he not free....maybe he wants to come down next week....GO DIE LA....HUMJI!!! THESE TEACHERS ALWAYS HIDE FROM PARENTS WHEN THEY KNOW SOMETINK'S GONNA HAPPEN!!!! MD...my father told him he just want to see him today..yet still got face to say nxt week....go die la....after that my father talk to the DM bout wat he did to my bro. then DM still can say my bro's bad tinks...FK LA....U IN WRONG STILL WANT TO SAY OTHERS.....after that my father question him bout why he ask my bro go borrow money to cut hair....by rite DM catch the students' hair no wrong...but tell them to go round borrow money to have a hair cut then go back school to let him see is wrong rite....!!! then the DM stil say wat the near-by barber quite "close" to the school de....we everytime SEND our students over there for hair cuts~~ SEND OUR STUDENTS!!!! WTH....GO DIE LA....then the DM still say wat if he lent money to the students to go for hair cut can....DOTX...OTHERS ARE TALKING BASIC SENSE TO YOU STILL CAN SAY THIS TYPE OF STUPID TINKS....then my father talking sense to him he kept saying sorrie....SORRIE GOT USE NEED POLICE FOR WAT....my father tell him no nid say sorrie....he don want a sorrie....he wants an explanation....after that he purposely want to talk bout other topic instead of that....my father then talk sense to him...and he diam diam don noe wat to say...then the Assistant DM came also wants to talk to my father...but in the end both let my father say till they diam diam.....then the principal hide in the general office don want to come out...after that...the DM still tell my father that there's a list of students which the principal would like to see cos of their academic results....DOTX....U THIS KUKU DM YOU CAN REALLY GO BANG WALL~~~my bro's academic results is good de...also not the borderline cases....principal see wat sia...dotx...after that my father tell them that...he came down to talk to bout them bout this matter....but if this continues....he gonna write a letter to MOE....(hmm...like AT lea...) XP~~ anyway by rite DM shouldn't act like this lor....if DM act like this...tell ur parents....they cfm die de... X.x....

well talk abit bout this wed. de prac. quite tiring...learn the footwork....bounces and bounces till my left got a big blister....cant really walk well....but jia jia more ke lian...he bounces till the skin drop...cos so much friction le....X.X...but nvm...lets jia you~~~~ =)~~ yesterday do the ofa proj. till round 3+ do till headache....sian....well still not completed....gonna finish it this wk....so jia you ba~~taekwondo nxt belt exam is on nxt sun. hope i cant pass it =) jia you~~~

on the phone with ah gal nw....kept crapping bout idols again and the bang bang tang show and sch...haha...oki la stopping here~~ cya~

went to aljunied with criz...jia jia...and pui ying for xtra taekwondo prac. at Macpherson CC....what i can say is that....it's a big diff. from the training in school compare to the training at there......jia jia's friend who's a black belt...trained us....can faint lor....his physical training make mi want to die liao......cos very tiring....like the shuttle run.....20 sets....*faint*....mi and pui ying run till no strength.....then criz...maybe cos too long nv run so long so hard....he cant take it...then his face went pale like a piece of white sheet....damn shock lor.....after tat...jia jia's friend let us to kick him to train for our front kick....a live target....then after that i accidentally kick him without him knowing....then he went *ouch*.... sorrie..... =X....then we went to eat after the prac. cos i'm so hungry....went for prac with a empty stomach... second time liao....lucky got break ah bo i confirm faint de....after that we went to take bus to the MRT station...on the train....we four totally went mad....especially mi and pui ying.....cos there's black black on the train....then the black black kept turning round to see mi and pui ying....till we cant take it...then i start to play the PDA and type some msg and let jia jia and criz see....cos they sit opp. us.....then after that....the four of us went mad....well...can't say out the content but i can say that...it's damn funny ... XDDDD.....reach home round 11.30 then slack in living room till 2 then went to bed....oh ya....before reaching aljunied...got onto a bus which make mi damn angry....the kuku bus driver ask mi to pay coins of 90 cents in stead of 55 cents....wth...i show him the student card..he tell mi....card is 55 cents...buy ticket 90 cents....go bang wall la....buy ticket 90 cents....u tink urs special ar....kuku....then he still make mi waiting damn long on the way to the station....cos damn obvious in front got a double deck 242 he still go stuck behind the bus....kuku lea....6 pm board the bus...6.30 pm then arrive to the station....some more he let the passengers alight at the non-alighting area....wa piang....really make ppl damn angry de....

sleep till late afternoon round 1 plus then woke up by my father's call to go down to jurong point....rushed...bath...tie hair...blah blah blah.....then ate the sandwich my father bought for mi then rush down to JP....reached liao went to meet him at the value shop....value shop seems to be closing down fro renovation...cos everytinks more cheaper.....then father bought a few stationery for my cousins and a few packs of tibits...cos my house's really empty...nth to eat....then while father's choosing the tinks to buy for the kids....=.=...saw him again.....always praying not to see him again....yet today saw him at the value shop....haiz....din want him to see mi too....so kept hiding...but my father lea...kept walking towards him...ZZZZ....don noe wat to say....even after seeing each other i still act blur...he also act blur....we never greet each other...jus walk on our way.....so ya...strangers....haha....aftermath....daddy bring mi go see phone.....=.=....i choose this...not good choose that...not good. *faint*....after that went to the sony eric. shop near the mrt station....in the end...bought a the W580I instead of W890I...well....after buying....daddy tell mi to thank mummy....cos she fork out $100 to help mi buy the phone....well....thanks alot mummy.....but the rest of the money...i fork out myself...haiz....wanting to go to GAN to work...discuss with daddy yet...he say....u might as well stay home and do ur projects then go work....ZZZ.....nvm...stay home lor....confirm one day i'll become a nun.....seeing four walls everyday...is like what a nun would do....soon...i'll be chanting scripts.....Xp....well took photos of the phone....and there it is....my W580I~~~~

who really knows what i want.....
who really knows what i'm doing....
who really understands me.....

don persuade mi or ask me to try my best.....
i have been doing it over and over again.....
i have totally given up hopes.....

don't try to talk "sense" into me anymore.....
cos' no one understands what situation i'm really in.....
don't say i'll regret.....
i can say this from the bottom of my heart.....
i'm really disappoint....wouldn't regret it........

lost now.....in everytink i do.....in everyword i say.....
always calling for help.....
always searching for sometink to rely on.....
yet in vain......

don't ask how i'm feeling nw.....
i can tell you straight away.....
i'm seeing waterfall from here.....everytime...

don't tell me to relax.....
to calm down.....
to ignore.....
to talk nicely......

cos' nothing's gonna do any help in this situation.....
i'm jus feeling so terrible that....
even all this washing of my face can't even do any help.....
can't even relief my pain....


not even a tiny winy bit......

talk with ah gal yesterday....LOL....we both are totally mad over our idols....mad over guys...haha.....keep talking and talking.....shared our lala-land's stories....haha.....can u imagine...we are like talk finish liao...quiet for less then 10s talk bout guys again....haha....totally mad....well....cos my phone's batt's getting flat...so suppose to hang-up at 1.40 de....but my phone auto shut down 5 mins earlier.....dotx...we were like talking half way.....so i smsed her while charging it.....~~ LOL...the min i send my good nite sms out...she send mi a good nite sms too.....WAHAHA.....really is mummy and ah gal.....xin you ling xi....haha.....after that went off to bed....nowadays i cant really sleep late....cfm will auto wake up at either 8+ or 9+...last time i rmb i will slp till afternoon de...but now....nope...i wake up instead...yi hong's coming out this sunday afternoon.....but tink won meet him le ba.....cos father's grounding mi...don noe for wat.....four walls again....i just hope i won be seeing this four walls for 3 whole wks.....ah bo i cfm plus guarantee chop...i will go bonkers de...

anyway....today's taekwondo practice....i'm totally late for bout 15-20 mins....bus come late.....then traffic jams.....on the bus half way...i suddenly rmb bout the laws of attraction....but too late...too worried liao so...i keep attractin those things i don wan...haha.....but lucky nv get scolding....but quite ps lor.....then today do stretching....i rmb my left thigh having a big bruise before.....so everytime i stretch.....it will starts to give mi probs......causin mi to be in pain.....but have to bear with it....well next wk is the last training liao...after that it will be the real tink.....exams.....i hope i can pass it....so jia you ba....oki stopping here le....tata~~

today whole day i'm like LOCK-ed in my own house lor...my father's like totally ground mi at home liao....i damn hate it lor.....zzzz....then found tan kuku a.k.a tan chi chiang(my ofa relief teacher) on9 in msn...so chat with him....LOL....we both are totally like lamers.....he type my chinese name...i type his......and OH YA!!! he's chinese like fail lor...yet he tell mi pass....when he don even know the word in his name usually goes with which word......like his quan.....i ask him izzt the quan li de quan...he say yes....after that he tell mi not....which should be quan bu de quan.....can go bang wall liao lor....dotx.....then still complain to mi bout i took so long to find out the words....u this kuku.....give mi wrong word still say mi....bang wall la....after that he damn evil...knowing that i lost my phone still laugh at mi.....damn no heart lor......still say he good...i puke lor....LOL......he ask mi not to call him kuku.....call his name....but i really is jiao bu chu lai.....so still call him kuku....hehe~~ XD...then he nid to go off0....so i went off to slack again.....feeling more adn more frustrated lor.....kept facing these four walls can make mi go bonkers liao lor.....i ji dao at there slam my mouse which i know i shouldn't but i damn sian....i had nth to play......psp played dao no game play......audi. play till no mood play.....surf net surf dao nth to surf liao.....want to do the projects also no mood......BUT LUCKY TML GOT TAEKWONDO PRAC. CAN GET OUT OF THIS HOUSE WOOHOOOO~~~~~ *3 CHEERS AND 3 CHEERS FOR TAEKWONDO*~~~~haha oki....i now sian again....let mi see stil gto wat tink to do ba....oh ya.....yi hong jia you in ur ns..... =)...no nid to care bout the meet-ups....anytime also can de....ur NS more important~~ =)...... AND LEK HAO AH KOR.....I LOST UR NUMBER LIAO T_T....sorrie....also jia you in ur ns =)...... LOVES YOU GUYZ.....MY FRIENDS..... MY KORS....

*********~~~~~HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO SOTONG XAVIER "QINGAIDERH"~~~~~********* (17/06/08)
i'm sorrie to hurt you...i really hope that we can be very good friends....

sometimes i really tink i just don even nid to exist here....

well i'm suppose to update on lots of tinks and pics de...but....=( i can't le.....=(
i lost my phone on my last of day school which is yesterday....so sad...T_T....heart pain sia.....and it actully disappear in front of mi....haiz...look around but can't find...kept calling my phone but no one pick up....able to get through but no one pick up~~ damn sad lor...then both my parents....nag and nag...but they din nag mi much cos they know i will have waterfall de....then today i'm suppose to stay at home.....then now have to go out with my aunt to get my new sim card....then she lent mi a touch phone.....which she says i might not like it...cos it's bulky...heavy....but oki la....haiz...sad lor.....haiz....

jus summarise it up on wat i intend to post de....

went to singapore mint gallery took lots of pics and want to update....got my taekwondo uniform liao....taking the test on 6th of july.....tink thats all...sad.... T_T.....=(

oh ya....py...i try to communicate with my mother these few days....but she still...haiz...

zzzz.....today's not a good day.....suppose to take lift go downstairs cos got sch. lift is out of order =.=....make mi have to walk to the next block to take other lift....=.=.....took the 99 bus....feeling very uncomfortable in my seat...also don noe why....then rmb din do the bfd homework....rush it in the bus.....then reach school....everything's oki in school....until the last module....com. hang there won't move....=.=....then after that...have to change com...after module went home....on the way back...i felt something under my shoes....that as i was looking at it...hui ling accidently knock mi i almost trip....but heng...nothing happen....then while waiting for bus...i rmb that i had not top-up my card...have to ask shu ui to pei mi go inter-change....ps...always trouble u...that we played dj max on the bus.....on the way bac...suddenly stomachache...but lucky i was reaching home.....fly to the toilet at the moment i step into the house......then mother never cook...so go out buy dinner....on the way...i tripped on the stone stairs....and.....and...=.= i injured my right big toe....=.=....the skin peel off....and a straight numb feel rite after the hit......damn pain.....while walking back home...i was abit limping.....reach home le....applied the cream then now sit in-front of com....but wont be using it for a long time.....so i go watch my show first then mugging time....cya tata~~

I HATE THIS HOUSE...I HATE HERE...you are always putting everything to my shoudlers......making the burden more and more heavy each time.....u never tink bout wat i wan...u only tink bout ur son.....u always tell others bout how great ur son is...how worse i am....u never spare a thought for mi when u said all thoses.....i hate you!!!! i just hope that i can get out of here...so i no need to see your face anymore......daddy said that you care for us...but i tink u only care for ur son.....whenever i fought with vincent....u always side him....i rather that i wasn't born here.....so i no need to face all these tinks.....

i suppress my angers....and confide to my aunts...i rbm there's one time...my sec. sch form teacher tell u and daddy bout that...whenever i got anytink i would confide to aunts....you both scolded mi....making mi find it hard to tell others bout my problems le.......i hide everything tinks in my heart...then rant it all out in my blog......my only way to help myself to get advices......just when are you going to start and understand...i'm already 18....yet i feel nothing for this family.....not even a tiny winy warmth.....

i tried to fix up my relationship with my family...yet we will start a fite once we can't reach the same point......and now it's gettin from bad to worse...from worse to.......

posting up this...cos i really hate this feeling...i'm home alone again.....home alone almost everyday...parents work...brother out with his friends....i jus hate this...i admire pei yu when she tells mi that her father's waiting for her at home almost every nite after her taekwondo practice....my parents don really care bout how i'm actually doing at sch. only when they saw mi coming home with a fuming face....they only cares bout my education...die die also mus pass it....and also bout the chores....die die i also mus do it....really had enough of this liao lor....talk to xavier"qingaiderh" before...he also understands the feeling cos he's having the same situation as mi.....xavier"qingaiderh" tell mi that once his brother go on to poly...they both are moving out to rent a house....and they welcome mi to stay with them.....i really want it.....at least....whenever i'm home....someone's there with mi to talk....i don wanna be home alone.....i still rmb the whole family went off to malaysia leaving mi behind cos i have to work...and they din even cancel it.....father send mi to stay with my grandparents....which din give mi freedom instead more grounding.....i really hope that they will understand how this feeling is been left all alone.....sitting in-front of the com. facing the four walls is the least tink that i would to do at home...yet the relationship between mi and my family are not good....thus making mi to lock myself in my room whole day long....why just can't they try to understand mi....if i'm not wrong i have been posting up this sentence for over 2/3 times in my previous few posts too....haha...getting emo. up again...haha....

well this wed. de WPB test...tink i flunk liao...i like do wrong...die liao la.....haiz....having my BFD test on the coming wed. 11/6...haiz....gotta work hard liao ba...muggin liao....

anyway...this wed. got the taekwondo prac. oki lor....not too hard...quite slack de.....keep practicing on the pattern....then learning the raising kick on next wed. hope i can learn fast....the exams are round de corner le....jia you jia you.....oh ya....this friday...got the dragon boat tink.....not whole class go lor...but had lots of fun...it took place at changi there.....first time get to roll the dragon boat....damn exciting....haha.....at first get on quite scare then start to feel abit giddy...then slowly start to get use.....well the boat's max. ppl to get in is 20....jus rite....the 20 of us got on...and 3 quarter of us are gals....gals roxz!!!! haha...after that we start paddling....quite scare lor....at first all our timing are wrong....which made us kana each other's "paddle"...but after the instructor tell us that...this require the same timing and the teamwork....so after everyone work as a team...we manage to roll the boat at a fast speed....had a competition but due to the lack of the boys....we end up as second...well we had lots of fun haha.....din went for badminton practice tat day....just went home straight took a bath....eat then lay flat on my bed......AND I GETTIN MORE AND MORE PIG!!!! I ACTUALLY SLEEP FROM 4+to 9+(going to 10) the next morning....for that whole day i only ate a sandwich and a box of mixed veg rice for lunch...haha....more pig = die....cos i will get more and more slack de....haiz....

then yesterday mummy came home to wrap the dumpling...help out abit....she didn't even let mi go out also....well...i missed the taste of the dumpling from from yesterday till today i have eaten more 8 dumpling in total liao XD.....have to eat less of it startin tml....cos eat too much will make mi grow fat fast...haha....slack at home the whole day after helping out....watch the videos...the shows through the net.....well....the show 太王四神记....not real nice lor....the ending...= yucks....some say there might be a part 2....but if there's a part two...it might not be as nice as part 1 liao.....then watched the 命中注定我愛你....it's a good show....i have watched till esp. 12 liao...nice....the 陳楚河...is damn shuai lor....more shuai then 阮经天....but it's a good show.....funny and cute and lame too...oh ya....the the female lead..陈乔恩...she played well in this role....nice too....haha....oki i'm stopping le....watching it again....cos the some of the scenes really touched mi till i drop tears....haha....cya~~

a few pics of the changi surrounding...

haiz...this time i confirm die liao....i kept slacking alot...no mood to study at all....haiz.....die liao la.....=(

anyway....today I'm abit siao liao.....when Kenneth seah ask mi to challenge in tekken....i was damn high liao.....we both keep fight and fight haha..too long no play...skills rust like hell haha.....then we challenge till OFA lesson.....then in the lab.....alan challenge mi~dotx...i bu xiao xin choose wrong char. = mati......i ji dao lose like mad liao haha.....then after that....start the OFA lesson le....

i was doing the assignment 4 when suddenly the com went black out...dotx...someone went to switch off the switch.....not i kana only...the whole class all kana.....then jia li and jie ying damn "hot" they ji dao at there bu shuang le......then some ppl din manage to recover their file...so have to re-do it...as for mi~i din save but got recover....yet...the steps that i just manage to do...ALL GONE....dotx...have to re-do the steps again~!.....then jia li at there super buai song de......cos her whole doc. have to re-do. well that person is not our class de.....anyway.....we all manage to finish the assignment then all went home...on the way out.....i was chit-chatting with jia jia and Kenneth seah.....then talk bout the tekken match.....after that...i went off with candy they all...

on the way to the gate....i hold candy's and pei yu's hand...and i really go siao liao...suddenly wanted to dance can can haha....lame sia mi...and candy really pei mi haha.....damn fun de.....then after that bus 99 come liao....mi...pui ying...shu hui and peiyu "fly straight in" to the bus...then play VS DJ max with shu hui...cos's she's dropping off at jurong east interchange so we had a fast game...and she tricked mi~~ she put 8B....DAMN SIAO....I WAS LIKE !!!!!! ji dao no nid to play straight game-over...cos the buttons make mi go mad.....then we both went mad in the bus too...we laugh like hell sia....i laugh till my tears are dropping haha.......after that....reached home....do my cycle again.....now staring in-front of the com.....oh ya....just now studying...MD MAKE MI DAMN PEK CEK.....THE NEXT BLK DE FAMILY....TINK IS MOTHER BEAT CHILDREN...KEEP SHOUTING AND SHOUTING...IT WAS ALREADY LATE NIGHT LIAO...AND THAT KUKU MOTHER WAS CREATING A SCENE....EVEN HER NEIGHBOURS ALSO COME OUT.....DAMN LOUD CAN..I'M IN MY ROOM STUDING AND....=.=.....I ALMOST WANT TO SCOLD MY SAN ZI JI LOR~~ lucky it stop cos the neighbours are complaining...haha.....oki la....stop liao la.....nid go bac study le nite~ tata~~ btw...

*********TO XIN YI ON 2ND JUNE'08:

********************************

i'm totally mad bout this show~ 太王四神记...it's a korean show....damn nice de...haha.....watching it on youtube till midnite seh....nice show ~~~ got pei yong jun as the main male char. WOO HOO~~~NICE~~~~haha....oh ya.....my taekwondo's yellow white belt test is coming le...it's on 6th of Jul....at Toa Payoh stadium....dotx...ahve to wake up damn early cos..have to reach there by 7.15am!!!! dotx...and the result will come out two weeks lata....haiz..damn scare sia....especially my kicks....i can't even kick high...haiz....have to jia you jia you~~~~ oki gotta watch my 太王四神记 liao tata~~~