feel like posting sometink but don noe wat to post...so i tink i'll post this up~~but pls don noe play with me on whatever tinks i typed on this post ONLY...ONLY this one....i don wan to be joke around with....can give mi comments on my tag board but not face to face or wat...only at my tagboard...i noe i very wat...but just only this time i don wan this post to be taken as joke or widely discuss. I know ppl may say if don wan ppl to discuss then don post up...but this blog is also an diary to me.....
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
thanks to all "friends" who have entered into my life...having all those good/bad memories that all had given to me....
those memories that have been deeply craved into me are those that i have been bullied/injured....well maybe you tink tat i'm a lunatic or wat...but i really still rmb them....i rmb how i got bullied till i'm covered in bruised when i'm in primary 4....this girl pinched mi tripped mi till i got injured alot of times...i don noe y she dislike mi so much. She likes to target mi everytime and not others.....none of you have any idea of how frequently i would get bullied during my primary shcool years....cos only a couple of you have participated in that part of my life.
I was frequently a target of girls and boys that they can bullied....either my file or book was been hidden or my coloured pens was been stolen by my classmates. There was once that Malay boy who sit beside mi, he poured that whole liquid paper on my chair....din notice and i sat down....well gals usual first reaction to been bullied was crying....i wasn't been comforted by my teacher instead she asked mi to remove my class-chair badge and after i stop crying then i can put it bac...those boys were not even punished....others were shock by the teacher's words and mi crying there....well i'm a super cry baby until i certain age..i won tell it out... =)
those good memories you all had given and shared with mi i also noe.... =) even those who are half-heartedly being friends with mi or those make users friends....i also apreciate those good and fine memories you have given mi =).
my parents lea....haiz....they care for mi was half-hearted....they say they give whole heart....but don even feel it....a wall la....a very tall and impregnable wall....to be truth...i'm real weak when i was small....real "weak" nt in the sense of health but in the sense of self. People bully mi i cry....i don even talk back....thanks to a certain reason that made to be "fierce" to be loud to protect my self.....yayaya i know....no one will belive mi when i'm saying this...like wat i typed "never participated in that part of my life".
I was the type i ask for wat...almost will get wat...cos i'm the only gal at my father's side....all aunts and grandparents treated mi like a treasure. Thus i don noe how to "protect" myself. Usually i'll lie to protect. My parents were super strict on my results in school...you never know how strict they are from their looks....i have to get at least an B in my studies on every subjects, if i fail or get below their target, i would get a beating from my parents. I lied to them bout my results to protect myself from beating but they will go to my school to check...well it gt worst....more beatings and scoldings came. My teachers doesn't know what will happen...They thought i was only sad when i receive my results(cos i'll break down if i fail to achieve). Lucky my friends will comfort mi...quite embrass cos have to bring along those cane marks with me to school. Until i gt to seondary then they got relaxed on my studies...thanks goodness rite..haha...
Anyway....talking bout friends....i have a super bad habit....even my mother can't tolerate....i have a "bad eyesight" at looking at people. My mother knows which friends of mine are good or bad for me....but i always ignore it and ended up hurt....i rmb there was a girl whose a very good friend of mine....but one day...her brother called mi and said i pushed her down from the stairs and cost her injures...funny tink is....i don even rmb-ing been at her side that whole day....talking bout pushing her down is even more impossible~ she put that blame on mi....well i actually cried whole night on that matter....both our parents even talked bout that matter thru the phone on that actual day....truth is....i never do anytink....end of friendship after that matter...i forgive her the next day but my mother forbide mi to contact with her.
Alot of times when i take someone as a good friend....not-tink good will come out of it.....i'm either been make use to let them achieve their goals or been ignored or been taken as granted for them. I came upon a guy who sort of can see the future, he talk bout my future abit....ask abit on my life and also bout my friends....i don really believe it all but only this which i took it as an advice. I ask him whether i'll be make use by my friends in the future and will i be able to make real friends. His ask was "yes, quite alot" to my first question and "very little" to my second. Maybe you can say i'm immune to the make use part....but immune to my self not to my feeling.
Maybe you don tink you are the type of half-hearted/make user category friends, but the ways you treat mi and the ways you talk to mi...gives mi the feeling of that....i won group you up....but let you decide on that.........
But i'm gald that those friends i'm having now are really true to me....i tink...at the very least...rite? i believe anyone who are telling mi with anytinks, i don take them as lies. Even if you are lying to me...i still will believe....but if you have hurt mi too much...i'm closng my heart to you....don try to do that oki....i most gald for those friends at ITE and my sotongs....they try the most hard to understand mi....like shu hui, always by my side, knowing my moods from my face and feelings and accompanying mi to places and alot of stuffs. I know you will complain, but you won tell mi face to face or by anytink....but i noe you are.....if ya need mi...i'll also do the same for you...24/7 for u =) ~ hui ling, always asking mi tinks to know mi better cos i don really go round teling everone what i really like or dislike....pei yu and candy, always pei mi from here and there....jia li and xin hui....always standing up for mi when i gt suan by the boys in class.
Sotongs: Joshua for makin mi happy very time..hearing mi pour my unhappy tinks out....and really seems that only u can make mi straight happy even though i'm in a super duper bad mood...u know mi the best....can even noe i'm sad thru phone or sms even i never tell u, also knowing i'm asking a favour from you when i just called and haven even start tellin u anytink =). Peony, sharing those funny tinks and animes with mi....loves to pc with u....my others sotongs for pei-ing mi =)
Also thanks to some friends of mine on the web. =)
I loves you guys alot....i know i very ma fan....and slow...and clusmy....and get injured alot... and let you guys always worried for mi especially the NUTS. cos you all are the closest to mi everyday la....sometimes i knock into sometink or bang into sometink you guys worried the most....especially the recent leg injures.... you all almost don noe wat to say to mi..either i'm clusmy or careless or what...haha....no worries le...i'm recovering at a fast speed...i tink? haha....anyway...thanks for been by my side and entering my life oki =)
HUNDREDS AND THOUSAND AND MILLIONS AND..........~~~ THANKS =)
No comments:
Post a Comment